I am going to tell you about a real story that happened in our law firm not very long ago. As the parties were going through the divorce the wife made an offer to the husband and asked for mediation. Husband and counsel refused. Wife kept asking and asking for mediation. The husband refused. As the trial got closer, the wife asked again for mediation. The husband and his attorney refused. The trial was conducted and the wife received an attorney fee award from the husband. After the trial, during the appeals process, the wife again asked for a mediation. The husband and his attorney refused again…for about the 5th time. The wife won the issues on the appeal and was again awarded attorney fees and interest on the first award of attorney fees. After the case was remanded to the trial court…3 years after the first trial, the wife again asked for mediation to resolve all issues to avoid a second trial. Husband and his attorney again refused. The bottom line on just the financial issues was this: instead of receiving $25,000 in settlement three years ago, the husband will now get $32,000 but he owes his attorney $75,000 so the Husband now gets zero money in his pocket and owes his lawyer $43,000. And, he owes $34,000 to his wife for her attorney fees. So, when you hear people say that mediation allows you some control over your divorce, this is what they are talking about. I wonder if the husband and his counsel ever stopped to wonder if they got a good deal. Someone might have gotten a good deal but it wasn’t the clients, it wasn’t the husband or the wife. So, if your attorney is advising you to avoid mediation, you might stop to give it another thought. In my experience, it is always a good idea, even if it doesn’t succeed the first time around. Handing your life decisions over to a judge who does not know you or your family is not a good idea, no matter how good the judge might be. It is better to attempt a resolution to save you time, money, stress and a controlled outcome.
